All the Feelings

I am a globular blob of diverse emotions.

Over the weekend I got to go to the Grand Canyon. It was a delightful trip filled with family and nature and paint. I sat on the edge of that great expanse and painted at sunset. I breathed in the cool, crisp air that smelled like life and pine and wind. I could feel the energy of the universe in that raw scar that stretches across the land, both ancient and new. It was amazing. It was spiritual. It was pure magic.

After experiencing these extreme highs, coming home to society and responsibility and adulting has really sucked.

I've been exhausted from both the intensity of my experience and the extended amount of time spent in the car. I've felt disconnected and alone, frustrated and overwhelmed, and honestly a bit unstable. I've been feeling those wide swings that I've been so familiar throughout my life, the rollercoaster of energy that is my bipolar II showing up to remind me it's still here.

I'm not a fan.

But I have come a long way in the last couple years, and I know that my feelings are always valid. Even if they are completely chaotic and contradictory. So today my goal is to sit with my globular blob. I'm going to sit with it, listen to it, and learn from it.

Just me, Dragon, and our globular blob of emotions.